


Awake and Dreaming

by WhisperOfWarmth



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), kylux - Fandom
Genre: Armitage Hux - Freeform, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren Fluff, Bad Dreams, Banter, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Developing Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluffy Ending, Gay, Gentle, Gentle Kissing, Gentleness, Hurt/Comfort, In Bed Together, In Love, Kylo Ren - Freeform, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylux - Freeform, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Nightmares, Nurturing, Out of Character, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Protective Armitage Hux, Random & Short, Romantic Fluff, Short, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot, Sleeping Together, Soft Kylux, Star Wars - Freeform, Star Wars: The Force Awakens - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-09 02:44:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12878505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperOfWarmth/pseuds/WhisperOfWarmth
Summary: Ever since what everyone refers to as "the day" on Starkiller Base, Kylo Ren has been an internal emotional mess. The death of his father at his own hands, while necessary at the time, has turned his sleep into a hotbed of fiery doubt and gruesome nightmares.After a particularly bad dream, he seeks out companionship and comfort from a somewhat unlikely source.





	Awake and Dreaming

Kylo Ren was running, head down, arms pumping, as fast as he could. He hadn't had the time to grab his helmet, so his face was exposed for everybody to see.

And everybody DID see. Stormtroopers, Captains, Ensigns, Lieutenants, and others lined the pathway down which he was fleeing, silently staring but making no move to help the panicked man.

As well it should be. After all, Kylo Ren wasn't a 'help' to others in need, was he?

He got to the end of the snow-lined path, and his boots skidded to a sharp, abrupt stop in the ice. He stood overlooking the edge of a cliff, an endless chasm of dark shadows and sharp rocks.

Turning back around, he was dully surprised to see that all of his onlookers had disappeared, leaving him with _it_.

 _It_ was walking towards him, taking slow, lurching steps. It was shaped like a man, although the shape was the only human like quality about it. Pale, sickly and white, giving off its own dreadful radiance. Chunks of flesh were torn in sporadic patterns from its arms and chest, revealing a massive swelling of lumpy, reddish gray organs underneath. It's hands were stretched out towards him, reaching for him, and as Kylo watched, bits of the creature's fingers fell off, landing in the snow with unnaturally loud thuds. The flesh of the hefty face hung in bloody, ropey strings. The nose had caved in, revealing magnificently bright raw red channels that turned Kylo's stomach.

It was getting closer, and Kylo couldn't run. He couldn't even scream. He tried, but nothing other than a dry, senseless squeak emerged from between his lips.

The creature in front of him's lips split open in a gruesome parody of a smile, revealing rotted-out, jagged teeth in a too-large mouth.

 _Bennnnnn_ , the being hissed at him, still reaching, _Give your father a hug, Bennnnn_.

Kylo shot up so hard that he nearly fell out of his bed. The yell that was unavailable to him in the dream made itself known now, and he shrieked out, hoarsely, into the dark room.

"Oh, God, oh, God, oh, Maker," he chanted feverishly, over and over to himself.

This had been the worst dream yet.

Kylo tried desperately to control the pounding of his heart, to calm himself before panic overtook him entirely.

As he often did after one of these dreams, he got out of bed and groped around in the dark for his datapad. Laying back down with it, he turned it on, and the bright light of the screen temporarily blinded him. He waited for his eyes to adjust, then he pulled up the files he had saved on human decomposition.

Same as always, really.

At the stage of death that Han would be in, now, he would still hold much of the appearance that he had during life. The hair would have faded in texture, and the skin would have become sallow and lusterless, yes; but if would look nowhere near as horrible as it did in Kylo's dreams.

Morbid, to be sure, but somewhat comforting. Seeing the words brought Kylo a sense of comfort, let him know that his dreams couldn't be real, that they had no basis in scientific truth.

After reading and re-reading the familiar documents, he now pulled up the medical files on pain in relativity to different executional styles.

He didn't like to think that Han, had suffered. He wanted (needed) to continually reassure himself that the jab to the heart had been almost painless. After the first initial shock, he should have felt nothing at all.

The fact that he had reached out and touched Kylo's face, well, that had been a product to that shock, right? The pain on his face was purely emotional, not physical.

Right?

"Dad," he said, hardly conscious of the fact that he was now speaking out-loud. "Dad, dad, dad . . ."

His heart stopped as he heard a small noise coming from the other room. He lay in bed, stiff as a board, afraid to breath lest whatever it was come in and find him.

No, no, no, that was ridiculous. Wasn't it?

Han didn't have the Force, therefore he could not come back as a Force-ghost. 

But it worried Kylo, because OTHER cultures, other places in the universe, held belief that a person could come back as a spirit no matter what their Force connection.

What if that was true?

What if Han COULD come back as a spirit, and he was simply waiting? 

Waiting for the right time, to scare his son to death?

Fitting, Kylo supposed, that he would die by Han's hand. 

He forced himself up and out of bed, telling himself to act naturally as he flipped on the lights and began to dress. He had now identified the sound as being the late-night sound made by the conservator, but still. 

He could not spend another second in these quarters.

He didn't want to be alone, but he really had no options in the matter. He didn't truly have 'friends', except for two people. Two people in the entire First Order.

The first was Captain Phasma. She was a lovely woman, kind, brave, smart, a good leader. But Kylo couldn't just go to her in the middle of the night, like this. 

The only other option he had, and it was a risky one, was to go and see the red headed General of the Order; Armitage Hux.

He and Hux had been having a sexual relationship for several months, but it was hardly what Kylo would call 'personal'. They didn't spend time together otherwise, had never made demands or claims on each other outside of the bedroom.

And most of the time, what they had in the bedroom didn't last more than an hour or so. When they were done, they didn't hold each other, they didn't talk, they didn't sleep next to one another. Whoever the visitor was would get dressed, say goodnight, and leave.

Simple. Easy. Casual.

If this was the case, if all they had was a casual fling, why was Hux the first person Kylo wanted, when he was upset?

No time to think of that, now; here he was outside of Hux's door.

He raised his hand and rapped, softly at first and then louder, and louder, until he could hear a shuffling grumble from behind the panel.

"Who is it?", answered a voice, groggily, from the other side.

"It's me. Ren. Can I come in?"

A pause, and then: "It's too late for this, Ren. I'm tired."

He must have thought Kylo was there to engage him in sex. Not surprising; it had happened before, after all.

"It's not what you think, Hux. Please, can you let me in? I need someone to talk to."

"It's 2 in the morning, Ren. Can't this wait?"

"No! Let me in, please," he said quietly, thumping steadily on the door.

With a sigh that Kylo could hear even beyond the thick steel, the door slid open, to reveal a half-asleep, agitated looking General.

He stood aside and let Kylo enter, then sleepily punched the code back in to relock the door.

"Okay, Ren, I'm going to assume you're dying. Otherwise I can't see why you'd . ."

Kylo interrupted him by throwing his arms around him, hard. 

Hux was startled; Kylo had never done this before. 

And Kylo was _shaking_.

"I had a bad dream. I know how childish that sounds, but it's true. I can't go back to my quarters, I can't be alone. I, I didn't know where else to go."

"Ren, I've got to be honest; you're scaring me."

"I know. I'm sorry. But, please, _please_ , can I stay with you? Please?"

Hux regarded him warily, taking in how uncharacteristically vulnerable that Kylo was being, and nodded.

"Alright," he said, turning and heading towards his bedroom. He turned around to say something to Kylo, but was surprised that he wasn't behind him, like he'd thought.

He backtracked towards the living room, and frowned to see that Kylo was already laying on the couch, the spare blanket spread over him.

"What are you doing, Ren?", he asked, confused.

"You said I could stay!"

"I know, but . ."

He stopped himself and shook his head, sighing again. "Get up, Ren. I meant, you can stay with me, in my bed. Now come ON."

Kylo smiled, his first real smile since he had arrived. "Are you sure?"

"Maker, YES!", Hux fairly shouted at him, thoroughly exasperated.

So Kylo followed him in.

............

"Oh, Kylo," Hux said, very softly. 

Kylo had just got done telling Hux about his dream, in detail. He had surprised both himself and Hux by bursting into tears at the end of his tale.

Hux reached over and ran his fingers, gently, through Kylo's hair. His touch was wonderfully soothing, and a lot more delicate than Kylo would have thought him capable of. Little by little, Kylo was able to pull himself together.

"Do you have dreams like this very often?"

Kylo nodded. He closed his eyes before speaking, feeling ashamed that Hux was seeing this deplorable weakness in him.

"Almost every night since it happened."

"And you never told me?"

Kylo looked at him, confused. "Well, no. Why would I have?"

"I can't believe that I need to say this out-loud, but, well, I DO care about you, Kylo Ren. I care about you, _outside_ of sleeping with you."

"Really?"

Hux blushed, and buried his face in his pillow.

"See, now I feel like an idiot saying that, because you don't feel the way I do.", Hux mumbled, embarrassed.

Kylo surprised Hux (and himself) by saying, softly, "Yes, I do. I have for some time, now."

"Why didn't you ever TELL me that? Maker, do you have any idea how many times I've wanted to ask you to stay, after? Wanted you to come talk to me in my office, or have dinner with me?"

Kylo started to laugh. "Funny. We're both bigger assholes than I'd originally thought."

Hux laughed too. After awhile, he reached out and pressed his fingertips to Kylo's cheek, caressing his skin.

"Communication is a problem we'll have to work on, I suppose. But for now, let's focus on the other one: your dream."

Kylo took a deep breath, and quietly began to tell Hux things. _Everything._. The dreams. Hearing his mother's voice in his mind more and more frequently. His guilt, his doubt, his fears. His faltering commitment to the Dark Side, to Snoke.

When Kylo had finished, Hux leaned across the bed and hugged him, tightly. Patting his back, he whispered, "Thank you so much, Kylo."

"For?"

Hux pulled away and looked him in the eye. 

"What you've just told me, well, I'm beyond flattered, that you have trust in me, like that. That you trust me with your secrets. I'm not just flattered, I'm honored. Thank you."

Kylo blushed, not quite knowing how to respond.

"I guess the very first thing I should address is, you're not alone. In your thinking, or your pain."

He proceeded to tell Kylo things, too. How isolated he felt when he first came to Snoke and the First Order. His constant fears that he wasn't good enough, that he wasn't making the right decisions for all the people he oversaw. His own painful relationship with his father. His regret regarding how his rank set him apart from everybody else, making it lonely, difficult to cultivate friendships.

"Thank you," Kylo murmured when he was finished, repeating Hux's words from earlier. "I'm honored, as well, that you trust me like this."

Hux nodded. "I'm not sure if our problems can be 'fixed', exactly, Kylo. But I do know that talking about them will make them easier to handle. I feel better, anyway."

"I feel better, too. Thank you."

Hux looked over Kylo's shoulder to the clock.

"It's almost 4am. We've been talking for nearly two hours. I have to get up at 5:30."

Kylo frowned. "I'm so sorry, Hux. I didn't mean to . ."

Hux shook his head. "You know what?", he said, smiling, "I'm thinking today is a day to call in sick."

"Really? Why?"

Hux rolled his eyes. "I hope you're not this dense all the time. Maybe I'm thinking you and I can spend the day together. We can stay here, if you like. Or we can take a trip off planet. Whatever you . . ."

Kylo cut him off by rolling on top of him and kissing him, hard. "Stay here. Stay in this bed. All day. That's my vote."

Hux smiled and raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't sound particularly healthy, Ren."

"Don't worry, I'll see that we get plenty of exercise," Kylo replied, leaning down to kiss suggestively down Hux's neck and shoulders.

Hux's body responded, and shuddered beneath Kylo, then pushed him off, playfully.

"If you and I are going to be real, we have to work on other things to do, **besides** sex, Kylo."

Kylo nodded. "I agree. But at the same time, balance is important, my dear Hux. Like you, balancing on my . . ."

Hux reached over and hit him, hard. 

"So immature. But I suppose we'll have time to talk all this through.  
In the meantime, though; we have a vigorous day ahead of us," he teased him, stretching and yawning. "So how about we try and get a few more hours of sleep, before tackling it?"

Kylo nodded and laid down with a smile, enjoying the feel of Hux's soft pillows. After a few silent moments, Hux grumbled "This isn't going to work."

Kylo opened one eye.

"What isn't?"

"You. You're too far away from me."

Hux scooted over closer to him, and curled his arms around him. His body was soft and warm against Kylo's own; soft, but strong at the same time. Kylo's senses were nearly overwhelmed with the sensation, the knowledge, that Hux was going to protect him. That while he was here, in his arms, the hideous dreams weren't going to dare to bother him.

He wasn't wrong.  



End file.
